Thursday, May 21, 2009

loan program

I've decided to try free versing on me blog, so don't be alarmed. It's a creative exercise and it can only be understood by doing it rather than reading it. The premise is that I have evasive thoughts of specific things and adjectives which create this meta association in my mind. By writing them out and allowing myself to let the words that are already on the page affect them > I circumscribe the idea sample that I am trying to capture. I do it all the time with a pen and diagrams, but this is infrequent if not new:

shoot

writing an explanation of what I was going to do has made the sensation of the idea coming, recede. Hold on, let me get me coffee and build it back up with internal hype.

The desire to share
the hospitality of the internet
a place for all ideas 
a size which suggests that you are not alone, you just haven't searched the right keywords. Like the sea
NOte: this is not poetry.
If you want that I got it. Unrecognizable at first until you say "wait that is not true" and then I build a clue and it ryhmes
The desire to share like a full three generations of monastic traditions resulting in good beer and a few bright pages full of complex yet accessible knots intended for decoration, but applicable as signal flows for casual information processing > forgiving like day dreams. 
Always building, growth from broken stumps. 

This blog and my books are so soliptic. But it's what I need to write, I try to do nothing, because I'm so satisfied with what I do.  But still, martyrs of peace are in prison and they lack methods of communication with the outside world. Privately tortured. My necessary guilt is that I sometimes channel not the dead, but the trapped. 
and all this consummation of rainbows and possibility waves doesn't seem to have the same level of pragmatism that becoming a lawyer to work for free, or goin to school to be a kind prison warden has in my fantasy. 
Every once in a while I have to say something to that. Sacrifices of good beer, spilt intentionally into the ground.

So again, live free:
Games made of 4k, I don't really know how much time that takes. Or if I could do something that would really communicate > snow.
Flash costs money and Chrissy has tried it out, seems like I would have to learn how to doodle in order to build, all my art is casual. Seems that unfinished digital simulations are so much less forgiving that a partially shaded page. 

So what would I want to communicate if I had the will and expertise to do so in a videogame?

Part of me says that I will never know because my art is a process not a result. Creative feedbacking

But the other part is trying to get somewhere by typing about it and so is willing to just make some assumptions in order to move on. 

At this point I would usually draw a diagram, to demarcate the land of the imaginary. 


That'll work. 
 Exploration of the cute little ideas so that I can show what they are given enough hype. Critical interpretation is the closest thing, but it would be so much better if it breathed. 
The words on the page, in ink> when they got that idiosyncratic hand-writing and that arrogant "I" that I don't have a font for> when your saccade can slosh around the imbalances of diagrams with heavy black outlines and pencil erasures. When you immerse yourself in this while trying to actually manipulate the page into something expressive, something more clear than what existed before >> it moves. It takes you in in such a way that a videogame vilage does before you play, when you are just reading about the game through the eyes of teh developer's hype and all you can think is "this is going to be so cool" because you have a faith that the art gets more and more immersive the smaller they make transistors.  
each page can do that, so when i see someone just look at it and move on, I'm screamin on the inside, "THey're sooo missing out" the magic. 

I can identify frequently, as I flip through my own pages, without time for but one. But I am in the habit of solution and experience religiously examining a page from the past and making  a new one while inspired by it. Around the time that I realize what I meant and when I have to part from what I meant then, and how I think about it now, I can get that immersion in a page from the past. But other people don't do that. 

Steven from Warner Robins knows the feeling though he hasn't told me so. He used to sit in IHOP with his Baseball Encyclopedia and write stuff down. Then he went off and tried to enjoy a solo monastic tradition. And I can see this connection: How lucky were the monks who got to just copy bibles all day and embellish them withy neat little illustrations? Now that is worship. I do the same, but I don't do it with the bible which is nothin but bulldata with enormous quantities of hype.  
It's really awesome, and so low tech. Another great example is how cool it seems when the character in Heathers underlines passages of moby dick.  It can be done with any book, I just prefer my own. 
That would communicate.

But I now feel satisfied. 



1 comment:

charlotte said...

I loved reading this.
I really appreciate immersion, and it always means so much to me when someone really devotes their focus to something shared. Deeper connections to the work and the artist result. Also, it's very freeing to explore something to the fullest, because I have to give myself over to it in a kind of meditation, releasing daily stresses and thoughts of time, which can often overwhelm me. It's a large part of why I enjoy watching good movies and tv series (right now, Twin Peaks is really influential). It's very easy to give myself completely to the sensory experience, and then the messages can reach me loud and clear.