Wednesday, December 19, 2012


I need to see how characters and systems in computer games demonstrate the distribution of fictional items and information.
I need inspiration for distribution. I make shit and just hoard it because no one likes it as much as I do.

Monday, January 23, 2012

boiling water

I woke up this morning humming Magnetic Man's "Boiling Water" and giving chin pets to the cat.I thought about how I don't go to work until 12:30, there was so much I could do in that time. Lately, I've been wanting to change routine, not because I don't enjoy the current one, but because I feel a bit stagnant. I rarely wander aimlessly these days, and I suspect that I'm missing out because of it.
So after looking at free swim hours at the nearby aquatic-center and deciding against them, I got up to make myself some boiling water. I like to wash dishes while I'm heating coffee on the stove; it makes it less likely that I will forget I have a point of ignition in the house. So as I was washing knives and such, I had a great idea.
I don't want to get too detailed, because I'm saving the effort for its own page, but the synopsis is that the inconsiderateness of thinking you know how people should behave is required in order to get involved with their lives. Rescuing babies from exploding meth-labs requires the same skill set as instituting gun-laws. That's the synopsis. For our purposes, we will refer to this as idea #1.
For some reason, the high I get from a great idea encourages ideas of similar worth immediately afterwards. In this case, it brought to mind a realization I had last night as I was falling asleep. Idea number #2 is a perspective which clarifies a loose concept I've been working on involving how organizations of people are actually sentient creatures. I've played with the idea of visualizing this organism as a jellyfish or the illusion of a face seen in a metropolis when looking in a certain direction from the right street corner. I've had a hard time distinguishing the accountability of the individual people within the organization and the personality of the system itself. But last night, my near-sleep allowed me to hallucinate a picture of it. Visualizing this concept as a person in a mech-suit who is trying to caress someone else, solidified my understanding. I'm also trying not to get too involved in explaining idea #2 in this essay because I want to make a page for it too (full of water-color diagrams and such).
So there I was working on ensuring a cup is clean, with idea #2 on mind and idea #1 is no longer retrievable. I have no idea what idea #1 was, I just remember that it was awesome. When this occurs, I focus my thoughts by staring off into space (kinda keeping my eyes open, but ignoring all visual input) and asking myself (with a voice in my head that uses words and syntax, but never verbalizes) "what was the first idea. what was the first idea?"
I panic when I consider the possibility that this exercise will forget idea #2. So this I use the same non-vocal inner voice to summarize idea #2 a few times. I basically choose two words to name the concept in such a way that the name will be able to recall the entire idea. I think it was "robot-suit" which wouldn't have worked over a long period of time, but I was confident that it would remind me in the next 5 minutes. So then I go back to asking myself "what was the first idea, what was the first idea?" At first it didn't seem like it was going to come back, I tried to think about what I had been thinking about at any point during the dishwashing, hoping that it would intrinsically lead me to the same idea I had had before. It did, and I recognized the idea that effective charity is invasive, as soon as in non-vocalized.
I was concerned that I wouldn't remember either of my ideas by the time I finished washing dishes, and I didn't want to dry my hands to write it down. I created a two-word term for idea #1 in the same fashion that I had made idea #2 "robot-suit". I compromised on "charity polices" and then tried to combine the two concepts into one sentence. I was lazy so I just said "robot-suit versus Charity's policing." like it was a wrestling match or something. Then I made my coffee and opened up this blog so i could tell y'all what happened. hopefully I'll make full pages for each later today.

Tuesday, November 22, 2011

new tables

I'm not sure if I should avoid the consumer narrative that led me to the actions which I would like to describe. I've been playing a lot of simulated pinball on the Xbox 360 for about a year now. The tables come in packs of 4 and many are sold singly. I finally bought the older table pack today when it went on sale. I've played their trial versions for a while now, but I'm such a pinball fan at this point that I had to jump on the opportunity even though I'll have to borrow the $5 from December's gaming budget.
The tables I've played since January are a new breed. Zen studios has drawn their lines as to what physical qualities of the tables should be emulated, and what should be innovated upon due to the abilities of a videogame simulation. The tables are far too expensive to make in real life and feature animated toys, but for the most part, the game's mechanics are all based on what can be done to a steel ball on a wooden playfield. The difference in economic models from physical tables also has affected game design. These digital simulations of pinball don't become popular by quickly robbing your coins with casino-house advantages. The design intent seems to be to reward new players quickly with significant events that are obviously triggered by the player. The games are meant to be more empowering.
This older pack, however, contains most of the artifacts from the physical-inspirations. Thirsty outlanes, subtle game modes, and difficult targets dominate the experience. These are the things I have been able to notice from my 1 minute demo-versions. It wasn't until I purchased the tables and committed to learning them that I found their idiosyncratic pleasures.
Initially stubborn, Xtreme seems like a shallow playfield due to its obtusely divided playfield. Most shots seem to bump dud spots unsatisfactorily. This was really off-putting to me, especially because it felt that there wasn't much else to do but enter the upper playfield for brief moments of not nearing the drain. But when I was able to give it time in the full version I found that most of those seemingly useless targets initiate a trigger in a lower hole that begins the main mission type.
Xtreme is themed as a skater-culture table. A hip-hop synthesizer plays a track as dudes rap on it. The table is covered in a colorful graffitti theme and toys men take slack postures on the playfield which doubles as a doll-house skatepark. You as the player are an enthusiast of the skateboard and are testing your abilities in competitions. The main mode is initiated by shooting 7 basic, unsatisfying targets that spell "airwalk" Once you have "proven yourself" by nailing these basic shots, you can begin a competition my shooting the ball into an "entry ticket" hole. In a way, it feels that those initial target shots are a way to qualify for the competition. Once you have entered the competition, you are presented with a few lit ramps and are instructed to do the mandatory "tricks" in a limited amount of time, but to then embellish with a few additional shots of your choosing immediately afterword. This task seems so reflective of what I imagine a skate-competition would be like. I love the way Zen Studios expresses their chosen themes by painting the targets in context and then requiring a protocol of shots that seem to mimic the process which it represents. It's a neat perspective on both the them and on pinball itself.
The Zen tables are full of these kinds of inspired representations. It's so neat to me.

Monday, November 14, 2011

fuck yeah bitches

I consider myself an anti-social person. I like people as distant statistics. Not distant in the (not willing to get in depth with) sense, but distant as in "I prefer to remain or achieve geographic distance from others because mother-fuckers are crazy. I'm like that character who is the know-it-all safari auteur who has to deal with the stranded tourists and their manicure needs in the wilderness. Don't read too much into that People-I-KNow, because I'm talking generalities here. I'm super egocentric and I am incredibly fascinated with my own doings unless I'm going through some bi-weekly depression in which I need the value which is interaction with others; the validity of a crew.
"Hey did you see that, Holy shit!"
"What" you say.
"That incredible thing I just witnessed!"
"I remain unaware." says you.
That shit sucks. You know? Cause sometimes I need to share in order to experience a sense of worth.
I'm currently concerned that you ( who is reading this, yes you, not specifically, but your current occupation does insist upon some intrinsic associations by the writer {myself}.) are thinking poorly of me due to my self-admitted self-centerednesses so i will relieve the unreasonable portion of said paranoia by providing a alternate hypothetical dialogue.
//I sure do enjoy the medium of written word.
"Hey there pilgrom."
"Wassup." //if only there were lower-case question marks//
"Hey I saw something cool the other day." is what you say.
"My clairvoyance assures me that it is not cool."
"NO, no, I insist that my account will blow your mind."
"As one who subsists upon novel occurrences AND a person who minds the additional value embedded within the context of 'I know a person who:', I implore you to divulge." damn, I sound smart.
"It was amazing."
"I guess I had to be there." my penis remains limp.
Wow. Those were some pretty entertaining demonstrations of the isolation inherent within or ability to witness without each other. I've nearly forgotten what my initial intent to wrote this was.
Fuck. I have lost the insight which the former would have provided context for. Writing is a process ya'll. I have no need to apologize.

Tuesday, September 13, 2011

femme fatale

I'm starting a series of how to draw on Youtube, I feel that I have something to offer.