I'm fascinated by my layer of consciousness this morning. I'm slightly interested in things but lack the ability to engage. I'm used to being able to engage.
Engagement is kinda like a form of projection. Puppetry. Being able to imagine myself in a different shell so that I can focus on the perspective of that shell. Can't do it this morning. It's odd. I'm stuck in my own body, but most of my lives are in others.
It's slightly interesting.
I lack the mastery and control I usually wake up with.
Writing about it makes it seem far more intense than it really is, maybe because I'm used to reading about intense shit.
I just wanted to record this experience. I'm starting coffee earlier than I had planned, we'll see how that changes the situation.