clydebink

boiling water

2012-01-23T08:01:00.000-08:00

I woke up this morning humming Magnetic Man's "Boiling Water" and giving chin pets to the cat.I thought about how I don't go to work until 12:30, there was so much I could do in that time. Lately, I've been wanting to change routine, not because I don't enjoy the current one, but because I feel a bit stagnant. I rarely wander aimlessly these days, and I suspect that I'm missing out because of it.
So after looking at free swim hours at the nearby aquatic-center and deciding against them, I got up to make myself some boiling water. I like to wash dishes while I'm heating coffee on the stove; it makes it less likely that I will forget I have a point of ignition in the house. So as I was washing knives and such, I had a great idea.
I don't want to get too detailed, because I'm saving the effort for its own page, but the synopsis is that the inconsiderateness of thinking you know how people should behave is required in order to get involved with their lives. Rescuing babies from exploding meth-labs requires the same skill set as instituting gun-laws. That's the synopsis. For our purposes, we will refer to this as idea #1.
For some reason, the high I get from a great idea encourages ideas of similar worth immediately afterwards. In this case, it brought to mind a realization I had last night as I was falling asleep. Idea number #2 is a perspective which clarifies a loose concept I've been working on involving how organizations of people are actually sentient creatures. I've played with the idea of visualizing this organism as a jellyfish or the illusion of a face seen in a metropolis when looking in a certain direction from the right street corner. I've had a hard time distinguishing the accountability of the individual people within the organization and the personality of the system itself. But last night, my near-sleep allowed me to hallucinate a picture of it. Visualizing this concept as a person in a mech-suit who is trying to caress someone else, solidified my understanding. I'm also trying not to get too involved in explaining idea #2 in this essay because I want to make a page for it too (full of water-color diagrams and such).
So there I was working on ensuring a cup is clean, with idea #2 on mind and idea #1 is no longer retrievable. I have no idea what idea #1 was, I just remember that it was awesome. When this occurs, I focus my thoughts by staring off into space (kinda keeping my eyes open, but ignoring all visual input) and asking myself (with a voice in my head that uses words and syntax, but never verbalizes) "what was the first idea. what was the first idea?"
I panic when I consider the possibility that this exercise will forget idea #2. So this I use the same non-vocal inner voice to summarize idea #2 a few times. I basically choose two words to name the concept in such a way that the name will be able to recall the entire idea. I think it was "robot-suit" which wouldn't have worked over a long period of time, but I was confident that it would remind me in the next 5 minutes. So then I go back to asking myself "what was the first idea, what was the first idea?" At first it didn't seem like it was going to come back, I tried to think about what I had been thinking about at any point during the dishwashing, hoping that it would intrinsically lead me to the same idea I had had before. It did, and I recognized the idea that effective charity is invasive, as soon as in non-vocalized.
I was concerned that I wouldn't remember either of my ideas by the time I finished washing dishes, and I didn't want to dry my hands to write it down. I created a two-word term for idea #1 in the same fashion that I had made idea #2 "robot-suit". I compromised on "charity polices" and then tried to combine the two concepts into one sentence. I was lazy so I just said "robot-suit versus Charity's policing." like it was a wrestling match or something. Then I made my coffee and opened up this blog so i could tell y'all what happened. hopefully I'll make full pages for each later today.

hanging out

2012-01-16T09:11:00.000-08:00

new tables

2011-11-22T08:32:00.000-08:00

I'm not sure if I should avoid the consumer narrative that led me to the actions which I would like to describe. I've been playing a lot of simulated pinball on the Xbox 360 for about a year now. The tables come in packs of 4 and many are sold singly. I finally bought the older table pack today when it went on sale. I've played their trial versions for a while now, but I'm such a pinball fan at this point that I had to jump on the opportunity even though I'll have to borrow the $5 from December's gaming budget.
The tables I've played since January are a new breed. Zen studios has drawn their lines as to what physical qualities of the tables should be emulated, and what should be innovated upon due to the abilities of a videogame simulation. The tables are far too expensive to make in real life and feature animated toys, but for the most part, the game's mechanics are all based on what can be done to a steel ball on a wooden playfield. The difference in economic models from physical tables also has affected game design. These digital simulations of pinball don't become popular by quickly robbing your coins with casino-house advantages. The design intent seems to be to reward new players quickly with significant events that are obviously triggered by the player. The games are meant to be more empowering.
This older pack, however, contains most of the artifacts from the physical-inspirations. Thirsty outlanes, subtle game modes, and difficult targets dominate the experience. These are the things I have been able to notice from my 1 minute demo-versions. It wasn't until I purchased the tables and committed to learning them that I found their idiosyncratic pleasures.
Initially stubborn, Xtreme seems like a shallow playfield due to its obtusely divided playfield. Most shots seem to bump dud spots unsatisfactorily. This was really off-putting to me, especially because it felt that there wasn't much else to do but enter the upper playfield for brief moments of not nearing the drain. But when I was able to give it time in the full version I found that most of those seemingly useless targets initiate a trigger in a lower hole that begins the main mission type.
Xtreme is themed as a skater-culture table. A hip-hop synthesizer plays a track as dudes rap on it. The table is covered in a colorful graffitti theme and toys men take slack postures on the playfield which doubles as a doll-house skatepark. You as the player are an enthusiast of the skateboard and are testing your abilities in competitions. The main mode is initiated by shooting 7 basic, unsatisfying targets that spell "airwalk" Once you have "proven yourself" by nailing these basic shots, you can begin a competition my shooting the ball into an "entry ticket" hole. In a way, it feels that those initial target shots are a way to qualify for the competition. Once you have entered the competition, you are presented with a few lit ramps and are instructed to do the mandatory "tricks" in a limited amount of time, but to then embellish with a few additional shots of your choosing immediately afterword. This task seems so reflective of what I imagine a skate-competition would be like. I love the way Zen Studios expresses their chosen themes by painting the targets in context and then requiring a protocol of shots that seem to mimic the process which it represents. It's a neat perspective on both the them and on pinball itself.
The Zen tables are full of these kinds of inspired representations. It's so neat to me.

fuck yeah bitches

2011-11-14T14:00:00.000-08:00

I consider myself an anti-social person. I like people as distant statistics. Not distant in the (not willing to get in depth with) sense, but distant as in "I prefer to remain or achieve geographic distance from others because mother-fuckers are crazy. I'm like that character who is the know-it-all safari auteur who has to deal with the stranded tourists and their manicure needs in the wilderness. Don't read too much into that People-I-KNow, because I'm talking generalities here. I'm super egocentric and I am incredibly fascinated with my own doings unless I'm going through some bi-weekly depression in which I need the value which is interaction with others; the validity of a crew.
"Hey did you see that, Holy shit!"
"What" you say.
"That incredible thing I just witnessed!"
"I remain unaware." says you.
That shit sucks. You know? Cause sometimes I need to share in order to experience a sense of worth.
I'm currently concerned that you ( who is reading this, yes you, not specifically, but your current occupation does insist upon some intrinsic associations by the writer {myself}.) are thinking poorly of me due to my self-admitted self-centerednesses so i will relieve the unreasonable portion of said paranoia by providing a alternate hypothetical dialogue.
//I sure do enjoy the medium of written word.
"Hey there pilgrom."
"Wassup." //if only there were lower-case question marks//
"Hey I saw something cool the other day." is what you say.
"My clairvoyance assures me that it is not cool."
"NO, no, I insist that my account will blow your mind."
"As one who subsists upon novel occurrences AND a person who minds the additional value embedded within the context of 'I know a person who:', I implore you to divulge." damn, I sound smart.
"It was amazing."
"I guess I had to be there." my penis remains limp.
Wow. Those were some pretty entertaining demonstrations of the isolation inherent within or ability to witness without each other. I've nearly forgotten what my initial intent to wrote this was.
Fuck. I have lost the insight which the former would have provided context for. Writing is a process ya'll. I have no need to apologize.

femme fatale

2011-09-13T19:51:00.000-07:00

I'm starting a series of how to draw on Youtube, I feel that I have something to offer.

susanna finds

2011-09-07T20:07:00.000-07:00

rough seas

2011-09-01T14:08:00.000-07:00

give type

2011-08-27T20:56:00.000-07:00

eat me

2011-08-27T20:32:00.000-07:00

roompas exquisite

2011-08-27T20:31:00.000-07:00

butterfly boy

2011-08-27T20:29:00.000-07:00

totem cartoon

2011-08-27T20:27:00.000-07:00

blogging symbolism

2011-05-31T09:27:00.000-07:00

postindustrial economy

2011-05-31T09:25:00.000-07:00

modernized subsystems

2011-05-31T09:23:00.000-07:00

hardware enthusiast

2011-05-31T09:21:00.000-07:00

beam passes

2011-05-31T09:18:00.000-07:00

squash crops

2011-05-31T09:16:00.000-07:00

unit weighs

2011-05-31T09:14:00.000-07:00

the hapless

2011-05-31T09:12:00.000-07:00

support interfaces

2011-05-31T09:10:00.000-07:00

profound impact

2011-05-31T09:07:00.000-07:00

terrorist hunting

2011-05-31T09:05:00.000-07:00

underpowered consumer

2011-05-31T09:01:00.000-07:00

hypothetical herrings.

2011-04-13T20:16:00.000-07:00

What if all hypotheticals were red herrings.
All hypothesis were misleading.

Are hypothesi plans that can be tested?
Chrissy says "yes." But what if they are not valid unless tested.
I think I may have to beta some different policies and see what makes me happier.

sterile mule

2011-03-05T20:26:00.000-08:00

why I don't write hyper-fiction

2011-02-02T10:55:00.000-08:00

Why I Don't Write HyperFiction by clyde

I don't write hyperfiction because it would quickly turn into hypernonfiction. I don't write hyperfiction. I just don't. I might think about it once in a while; how awesome it would be to write a hyperfiction story; where I could just go in every once in a while and read it and be like "you know, I would like the characters to do an option that is not presently written, and so i will add another link" and then I would add a link and create a few options for each moment and I would never go back to fix the broken links and I would call upon the people who read my hyperfiction (but no one does, unless it's a brief favor to myself) to go ahead and fill in some of the possibilities. When they do i would read it and say to myself 'no, no, no, they don't understand the setting or the characters or the consistent logic which is in my mind, but I will leave their entry because personal relationships and the feeling of capability and artistic creativity of others is far more important than my peculiar egoism that necessitates an algorithm that i can not formulate enough to communicate to anyone else, but i can claim the algorithm exists long enough to imply that they are doing something wrong. i don't write hyperfiction because i would end up depending on the contributions of others and then belittling their contributions with baseless territorial urges.
I don't write hyperfiction because i'm fickle. As soon as I get enough motivation to start writing hyperfiction, I type in some search terms and shop for programs that would meet my hyperfiction needs, and are free. Then I would download it, install it, get to know the interface by typing a few words, making a few links that terminate at place-holders and become exhausted. I don't write hyperfiction because I lack the discpline or motivation to ever touch, read, or refine that story again. I would wait a few years, until I think to myself, "wouldn't it be great to write some hyperfiction" and then I would search for some hyperfiction program because long ago I deleted the other one, or I completely forgot that I installed it on my machine.
I don't write hyperfiction because if I REALLY wanted to write hyperfiction, I would be able to write the story in my sketchbook using an ingenious format of signal-flow that would increase the likelihood of self-reference (modeled on the aesthetic magnetism of platonic solids). I would spend a lot of thought on whether I should use convenient colored markers or low-opacity watercolors to create a color-coded network of connections between interlinking causalities and I would at some point go "whoa" when I notice a truth in the way I tend to link certain types of things to certain other types of things and I would lament my inability to communicate that moment of insight with this hyperfiction medium because in order to understand it, one must do it themselves (without the the knowledge that I am intending them to do so). I don't write hyperfiction because I have a hard enough time communicating an instance of insight linearly.

I travel

2010-12-27T17:41:00.000-08:00

game forums

2010-12-25T09:52:00.000-08:00

I love videogames, but not just playing them. I also love reading about them, criticizing them, and examining videogame-culture as an art movement. I intoxicate myself with news of upcoming releases and detailed anecdotes that appear on gaming sites and magazines. It's a fix for me which lacks the ability to ever truly satiate. I love playing the games too, but participating in game discussion is a different form of entertainment and the one that is pertinent to what I am going to try to say.

Every year, many different gaming sites will announce their game of the year, abbr. "G.O.T.Y". Stating your game of the year is really fun. It allows you to summarize the entire year of news, releases, and instances of joy experienced in gaming activities. Everyone has a different opinion of what should be considered for game of the year. I personally believe that the game of the year should represent the game release that you are happiest for knowing about. For those who just play games and don't read about them, this would amount to the game that they had the most fun playing. But since I read about games as much as I play them, the effect that the game had on videogame culture is also important to me.

I tend to think that if people play videogames, they play for the same reasons that I do, but this is not the case and every time I discover this dissonance, it makes me feel lonely. This year I realized that the game of the year announcement from different publications was an excellent way to gauge whether or not the writers of those publications were playing for similar reasons to my own. I realized this because of this article on Kotaku, a site which I frequent the most.
http://kotaku.com/5711686/kotakus-2010-game-of-the-year

The nominations were so incredibly disappointing to me. I played three of the nominees and loved them, but to me 2010 was an incredible year for videogame culture, and not because of refinement in established genres and styles. There was so much innovation in so many directions this year, that it was absurd to me that four games who just put more advanced asphalt on the road we've been walking for the last 4 years should be nominated, when completely new directions were established.
One game in particular seemed to change my perceptions the most; minecraft. It changed my perceptions in a lot of areas for a lot of reasons. I began responding to the nominees on Kotaku, but received a lot of resistance, not from the writers, but from the readers. And that was when I realized that I was in the wrong place.

Everyone can enjoy their pick for game of the year, but to me, this was a sign that I needed to find a source of information that had a similar agenda to my own. I want to participate in a discussion where I am furthering a focus rather than arguing over motives and definitions. This ability to engage with people who share your interests is what makes the internet such a great thing. I realized that the majority of readers on Kotaku were playing games for different reasons than my own and I wanted to find a place where people were playing for the similar reasons as my own.
I started looking around and soon remembered that http://www.rockpapershotgun.com/ had an interesting tone to it and seemed to provide me with info about games that I wasn't getting anywhere else. There was a podcast called "idle thumbs" that did similar things for me, but they stopped making it. I made a conscious decision to look at rock paper shotgun when I would be going to Kotaku and found that i was getting news that satisfied me and inspired me with content rather than suggestive and ultimately misleading headlines. They commonly refer to smaller games that were doing more interesting things and larger games that I just wasn't hearing about from other publications. They also seemed to have an interest in the way a game changes and contextualizes the artform as a whole; totally my type of thing.
So for their game of the year, they have an advent calendar where they list their 24 favorite games and announce their favorite on the 24th of December. here is the article in which they announce their de facto game of the year:
http://www.rockpapershotgun.com/2010/12/24/the-games-of-christmas-%E2%80%9910-day-24/#more-46806
I almost cried when I read this. The emotional response probably had something to do recent experiences and frustrations with strangers online where I have failed to communicate the need for sympathy and compassion to hateful bigots. This article, in the context of my isolation on the forums in which I participate, made me feel an incredible sense of belonging. For some, this may seem trivial because it happened on internet forums, but the medium does not invalidate the experience for me and I wanted to share it.

Videogames are important to me and I am incredibly interested in how the culture and perspectives that surround their development and consumption form. Finding evidence of a place that can express my views about one game and why it deserves G.O.T.Y so accurately, makes me feel like I'm part of something.

fey dream

2010-12-08T07:34:00.000-08:00

Last night I dreamt that Chrissy and I were hired to participate in some sort of candid camera operation in which Tina Fey was the stooge. We had met her briefly before for a different work-assignment. Our role was to be in line at the rural gas station as she came in. The basic "joke" was that her manager (who knew her well enough) was going to place inside jokes in her environment without her knowledge that it had been orchestrated. But in the moment of truth when Fey came to the line to purchase her morning coffee, she somehow became skeptical when Chrissy became nervous. Tina fey looked at Chrissy and said "You're the hot girl that I was supposed to do that project with" during her wide-spanning narration of orchestrated elements in her normal environment. The "joke" was a failure, but I started laughing at Chrissy going "Tina Fey thinks you are the 'hot girl', that's awesome."
The manager was disappointed that we all got busted, but decided to go ahead with one of the other events later in the day. It was some sort of seminar in a wooden deck kinda courtyard. The orchestrated elements that did not involve Chrissy and me were having the desired effect and Tina Fey was becoming manic (though trying to keep in to herself and Chrissy) as she was realizing that everything that was happening around her was heavily influenced by ideas which she had had previously. Chrissy began pointing out more to her, hoping that as Chrissy pointed out the absurd quantity of coincidences, Tina Fey would get wise and know that her manager was playing a trick on her. This was when Chrissy and I became concerned with the joke and especially our role in it. I thought, well I don't want to participate in fooling her, but if I was to just tell her, I wouldn't be able to participate and someone without compassion might be hired in our place.
So my decision was to comfort Tina Fey by participating in her manicism. I asked her what she was doing and she explained that she had a game that she would play in her childhood where she would rub spots on her desk that appeared to have moving specks with her thumbnail. The resulting smear marks would begin to reveal a painting. So I started doing that with her and indeed it resulted in a painting with three elements in columns. From left to right: there was an Apatosaurus outstreaching it's neck down to a flower bloom, water being poured into a mouth, and an abstracted penis going into a biology textbook diagram of a vagina. It was quite a nice painting. The background was a mostly even dark bluish-purple. and all the foreground elements were reddish-orange to dark yellow.
At this point I became concerned that the painting would be damaged when tina Fey found out what was going on. I thought she might destroy the painting, so I started planning how to get it to safety in that moment. There was a concern between both Chrissy and I that she would think that everything we had said and all the fun of the day was just an act, but we felt that we had some really valuable experiences. I began feeling that this specific "joke" was actually a power-play by her manager, trying to embarrass her eccentrics and give her the impression that she needs to rely only on interests that apply directly to the business of being a performer. The announcement that it was a joke kinda happened when we weren't around and Chrissy and I went off thinking that we had ruined any chance for further interaction with Tina Fey, as her manager had successfully convinced her that the childhood stuff was crap. And that's what Chrissy and I do.

giant bird

2010-11-29T11:28:00.000-08:00

catchy melodies

2010-11-29T11:27:00.000-08:00

it simulates

2010-11-29T11:26:00.000-08:00

heaviest known

2010-11-29T11:25:00.000-08:00

government limits

2010-11-29T11:24:00.000-08:00

every tongue

2010-11-29T11:23:00.001-08:00

reality shows

2010-11-29T11:23:00.000-08:00

aboveground flower

2010-11-29T11:21:00.000-08:00

clearly mastered

2010-11-29T11:19:00.000-08:00

make rug

2010-11-29T11:18:00.000-08:00

thought i would share

2010-10-31T20:51:00.000-07:00

morning porch

2010-10-14T06:04:00.000-07:00

The swing chain makes a spoke noise like springling pulses of pull and give; The electronica you would hear from an old wooden ship.
Birds on the lines are trying to communicate it with series of clicks.

The hillside across the road is sprinkled with the light yellow of malnourished new-growth. Weeds unfortunate enough to have waited til mid-October.

this swing was built withought the knowledge needed to make a comfortable seat.

+++++++++++++
I came out for morning coffee, for something more authentic and less demanding than Halo or Minecraft.. The core-loop is much longer out here while philosophizin than it is when pawning noobs or running from mobs.
There's more personal investment when out here, acknowledging that I should slow my thoughts.
I measure my success by poignant observations. If I, for instance, notice that the birds on the wire are replying to the sound of the porch-swing chain, then I know that I have succeeded in ignoring the distraction of language based thought long enough to observe a base state of observation and emotion. i think of these base states as archtypical, but I don't know that they are; still they seem similar to the colors you learn in kindergarten or character types from young adult novels. I haven't named them, it''s hard enough to even notice that they are there, and that I have felt them before.
I enjoy noticing them, it creates a sense of unity in time. As if there is a hub to my experience, from which I may access anything I've experience before.

string art

2010-10-04T18:14:00.000-07:00

string art

videogame movies

2010-08-14T07:37:00.001-07:00

Now that I've seen Terminator 2, I realize what a good videogame movie is like. It's a matter of pacing and acrobatics.
Step Up 3 was such a great videogame movie. It follows predictable plot points and creates a set of assumptions that seem so positive and capable to me. It's a struggle to expalin what I mean by videogame movie. Simply put, I felt like I was playing a videogame as I watched that movie.
So maybe I should say "If you haven't played a deep videogame, you can watch Step Up 3 and see what it feels like" The 3-d might be necessary.

garage band

2010-06-23T12:54:00.000-07:00

I should make a garage band.
I would ask them to play songs for my science-fiction movie about god and the devil being the same entity.
SPOiLeR ALERT:
The twist isn't that god and the devil are the same entity, it's that the entity had no desire to hide any part of it's nature; humans did that.
It would be a very slow film. There would be a main group of characters. sometimes, some of them would be paranoid that the music they listen to is a message from the devil, while others are enthusiastic about the same music because it's a message from god. The song in question is a love song, where the singer is expressing their want to be closer. I would have to ask my garage band to make one of those. The garage band should be the main group. But I don't want them making the music in the movie, I want them to be listening to it.
We should put it up on Youtube. It wouldn't be longer than 10 minutes, but by the time it's over, you feel satisfied.

getting mail.

2010-06-23T05:32:00.000-07:00

If I was in charge of getting mail, I would do it first thing in the morning. I would just forget that it was in the box during the afternoon and evening and assume that it came while I was asleep the way tooth fairies do. Then, half asleep I would walk to the box and open it to see what was inside: tickets.
Tickets to the fascinating involvements of commerce, local causes and friends. and magazines sometimes.

owl panorama

2010-06-16T17:33:00.000-07:00

coffee lust

2010-06-13T05:06:00.000-07:00

"lust" is what I call it. "lust" is the desire for something that is "sexy".
"sexy" is that irrational attraction. You may have reasons, but reasons are just a way to pretend that you have more control than you do.
I suppose I should tell you that I use these terms to describe my enthusiasm for ideas and consumer products more than I use them for actual people. That's what I'm interested in, communicating the inevitable movement towards new videogames and enthralling mythologies.
My concept of lust is like the way that women characters in movies talk about their love for chocolate. They begin with a metaphor of sex and then a female friend says "Oh but you would rather have sex that eat chocolate" and then the woman eating chocolate says "oh I don't know about that" and then they all laugh in an awkward yet communal fashion. That's how I feel about riding accordions like a skateboard that moves uphill and plays music as you pump it with your feet until you reach a summit where an extraterrestrial made of logic informs you that the next move is an obvious one.
I think monks are celibate so that their lustful energy goes toward data entry work and theological experimentation. I believe that is the motive.
I think monogamy is a form of celibacy and that the energy once used to motivate you towards maintaining and refining your attractive characteristics, exposing yourself to potential mates, navigating the subtleties of social encounters, and wanting to be with that person; requires a new release. Like a improving a career or protecting a child, or going deeper into a hobby.

do fine

2010-06-13T05:00:00.000-07:00

I can't be afraid to waste people's time.
I gotta write on the blog when I have nothing to say, because it's the same as a sketch-book; I won't know what to say until I'm saying it. It's fun. Life is limited and if I want to stare at he stream then I'll stare at the stream and if I wasn't to write trash I will.

random curls

2010-05-31T19:04:00.000-07:00

counting objects

2010-05-31T19:03:00.000-07:00

four drinks

2010-05-31T19:01:00.000-07:00

whole star

2010-05-31T19:00:00.000-07:00

several wavelengths

2010-05-31T18:59:00.000-07:00

darker one

2010-05-31T18:57:00.000-07:00

threading tap

2010-05-31T18:56:00.000-07:00

sloppy joint

2010-05-31T18:55:00.000-07:00

things quicker

2010-05-31T18:53:00.000-07:00

extra money

2010-05-31T18:52:00.000-07:00

someday become

2010-05-31T18:46:00.000-07:00

viable seeds

2010-05-31T18:45:00.000-07:00

prompted authorities

2010-05-31T18:44:00.000-07:00

trade monitored

2010-05-31T18:42:00.000-07:00

being chased

2010-05-31T18:40:00.000-07:00

her boobs

2010-05-31T18:39:00.000-07:00

supplying conservationists

2010-05-31T18:34:00.000-07:00

some obscure

2010-05-31T18:32:00.000-07:00

the group

2010-05-31T18:30:00.000-07:00

hidden compartments

2010-05-31T18:28:00.000-07:00

lax morph

2010-05-19T07:29:00.000-07:00

I'm fascinated by my layer of consciousness this morning. I'm slightly interested in things but lack the ability to engage. I'm used to being able to engage.
Engagement is kinda like a form of projection. Puppetry. Being able to imagine myself in a different shell so that I can focus on the perspective of that shell. Can't do it this morning. It's odd. I'm stuck in my own body, but most of my lives are in others.
It's slightly interesting.
I lack the mastery and control I usually wake up with.
Writing about it makes it seem far more intense than it really is, maybe because I'm used to reading about intense shit.
I just wanted to record this experience. I'm starting coffee earlier than I had planned, we'll see how that changes the situation.

sentence structure

2010-04-25T08:51:00.000-07:00

"ah" he said, "that's when the beauty of the system kicks in."

I shook my head because I knew he was right. Before I had even realized it.
Spoiler Alert: the system of which the first character speaks, might not be referenced later.
"what system?" I asked.

It took a moment for him to get a grasp on the answer. He initially had enough to believe it, but it was going to take some effort to communicate this 'system'.
"Imagine that you are water; you are not a water-molycuel; nor are you a large river. You are neither of these, but water you are. You are water enough that you can climb a pipe, see."
I could see what he was saying, I could imagine this: myself = water. "what am I doing now that I am water? Walter."
"you are spending money."
I was just as confused as you are, so he expounded: "It's like you are on a shopping spree, a guiltless shopping spree. You have no bills to consider and you are somehow comforted completely when considering the means of production that was required for the items in your basket. You are carried away by Mercury, the god of Commerce. Toys from your childhood that you do not recall until 'here it is' on the shelf of this store in the coolest mall you've ever been in on an island with a perfect climate. It's like a dream though, not a wish. You have the demeanor (understood and witnessable) that if you were to Think of ice-cream, it would not increase the chances that it would appear, though using it as a example of a wish suggests that it would be located in the same pool from which dream items come."

"What does this have to do with a system?"

"Well you are shopping guiltlessly, but the system is kicking in. You are moving, emboldened by energy and verve (because you love shopping), but that energy is being used in a very specific way based on the design in which you inhabit." Walter seemed satisfied.

"What design?"

He shrugged "I don't remember what we were talking about originally." But it must have involved a system kicking in.
What were you talking about before I said "that's when the system kicks in?"

I didn't know. but that wasn't what he said so I corrected him. "You said 'that's when the beauty of the system kicks in."

"Oh, I remember what it was!"

"What Walter?"

"I don't really remember, I just thought that if I said so, confidently, it would come to be." He grinned.

I broke it to him, "but it didn't."

"No, it didn't."

NEW IDEA
So I told Walter that since it's often more difficult to start from scratch than to edit and improve, we should pretend that we were talking about something specific. Trying to figure out what we should start with posed an entirely new problem.

Walter: "Let's think of a system. What's something that comes to your mind when you think of a 'system'?"

Me: "money."

Walter: "ok, yeah, we should avoid that example because we just used it to describe the lust-like movement of the scale-unit through the system. If we start tossing the m-concept around again, then we will become confused as to what we were saying before and what we are saying now."

Me: "Let's not run from it, let's embrace the possibility of recursion and caution ourselves from the labyrinths of mis-identification."

Walter: "Your crazy."

I told him that that's why he loves me.

became creative

2010-04-12T12:30:00.000-07:00

always easier

2010-04-12T12:28:00.000-07:00

extremely high

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everybody does

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together perfectly

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general idea

2010-04-12T12:21:00.000-07:00

rolling stock

2010-04-12T12:20:00.000-07:00

Maximize benefit

2010-03-29T12:45:00.000-07:00

"efficiency" has a connotation of dry-mouthed banality;
"Maximize Reward" or "Maximize benefit" sounds more fun.

Maximize benefit by means of fun.

During the trip to Boston I handed out like 23 zines. It's possible that those people will read this; That layer of association is a bonus. The experience of handing out zines is definitely increasing my capability in social interaction and dissemination of my procedural rhetoric. Passing out zines in a hip city is just one new and exciting experience of which i want to maximize the benefit by having a good time.

I think I'd like to go ahead and start a list of recent experiences that I would like to maximize the benefit of through fun activities:
-walking around a moist thaw city and being amazed that people are always around.
-attempting to fathom the population density of Boston and the exponential complexity when I begin to think about the idiosyncratic lives of Boston's citizens.
-Considering how much more applicable modern art is in a city setting.
-Enthusiastically exploring the concepts and designs of a city which produces economic benefit and integrates with a mammalian ecosystem.
-Exploring the demand for arcades and possible satisfications of that demand.
-Accepting and understanding the influence of setting context when observing graffiti and other arts.
-Getting my city on.
-Loving a field of naturally occurring crudités.
-Making a videogame called "city-jogger" where you get multipliers for not stopping and you have to dodge pedestrians, avoid cars, time cross-walks, and the setting is super interesting. Fully crafted pedestrians that you can learn about and observe, but are encouraged not to do so with automated reward systems for speed and distance.
-Developing and disseminating my concepts of gamer community.

create anything

2010-03-05T11:36:00.000-08:00

particularly good

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have everything

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seldom more

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steel ruler

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wooden cars

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smoothest possible

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later chapters

2010-03-05T11:25:00.000-08:00

lower valance

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previous versions

2010-03-05T11:22:00.000-08:00

converter works

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liberating influence

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waver from

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have holes

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to reinstate

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glass mosaic

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both illustrations

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including tsunami

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hidden inside

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standalone library

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allows direct

2010-03-05T11:06:00.000-08:00